Relate

Friendship is a really odd topic for me. I have two friends who I've been close to for the last ten years, about. When I was in high school, I was relatively popular and never seemed to have a problem finding someone to spend time with. I started writing this blog because I had been stewing over all the things going on in my life that go with growing up. When someone asked me what I wanted to write about this time (I've blogged before and abandoned them all for various reasons), I said something like, "Health. I'm really interested in being healthy. And education, because I like it. Getting married. Moving. My usual theological rants." Basically things that are happening in my life, but maybe I could also take a broader perspective on.

So here's the thing, I'm bad at making friends. Em and I talk about this on a regular basis. My sister has lectured me about this since I was about 13. So I've gotten a little more intentional lately. I planned three different "dates" this week, with three different women I have something of a relationship with that I want to deepen. My first one was today. It was with a girl I met when I started college and we were close friends for a few months, but recently have barely spoken. I got to Panera first. She arrived a few minutes later. We talked about some of the things we're working through on our upcoming marriages. Then we sat. In silence. For what seemed like 15 minutes, at least. So I sat there, wondering how it happened that we ended up with absolutely nothing to talk about. Then I went to work, and I wondered how I seemed to have more in common with my manager, a culinary student with completely different beliefs than me, then a girl who lives a very similar lifestyle to me.

Tomorrow I have date #2, and date #3 may have to be rescheduled as work is eating my life a tiny bit right now. Date #2 is with one of my better friends that we've just sort of not made time for each other recently. Date #3 is with a girl I've known vaguely for two years, though have never been close to, who has recently gone out of her way to be incredibly kind to me which has made me realize she's probably the type of friend I actually want to have.

I'm really bad at the whole friends thing. But I'm getting better. I try not to directly talk about God in every single post because I feel like that's a little unnecessary. Maybe it isn't, though. Because sometimes it becomes like the point of the thing I'm writing about is the thing itself, but it really isn't. The point of making good friends isn't just that. It's so that I can practice being the type of friend God wants me to be, and so I can have people in my life with the same intent in their friendships. The point of taking all the vitamins my doctor tells me to and exercising every day isn't so I look better or feel better, it is so I manage my body the way God intends for me to. The point of education is to use my mind in a way that brings glory to God. So now, this whole week turns into a sort of exploration of what God's view of friendship is. I'll keep you all posted.